by Divya Aggarwal

I believe that being socially competent is a skill that is very necessary in order to survive on this planet (unless, of course, you are completely self-sufficient and currently living on an isolated island, far away from all humanity).

Whenever I think about society and being social, I am reminded of an article by the Hindu (2012) which explains the belief that humans are social animals by nature, meaning socializing is something that has been ingrained into our brains since birth. The Hindu (2012) reasons that humans need each other in order to survive, not only for food and other essential resources but also for warmth and comfort. “We are all dependent on each other, whether we are consciously aware of it or not” is something my father used to say to me when I was younger, and I think that this statement holds great value. This may have something to do with the need of human beings to look for patterns that indicate human life in inanimate objects and sounds (Shermer, 2006). We all do this frequently: we look for human faces in weird shapes and listen for human sounds in undecipherable noises, and all of this is completely normal, we were born with this need to look for humanity in our surroundings.

These findings indicate that we seek out familiarity in our surroundings, and we are constantly looking for ways to connect with one another, and in order to connect and cohabitate with other humans, one must possess the general capabilities required for socializing. Once an individual has grown up and matured it is harder to teach them how to interact with others, as at this points their brains have already fully developed, and it is hard to change the way that their brains process information (Berk, 20212). Therefore, we much teach young children how to survive amongst others and cooperate with fellow humans, starting from the very first years of their lives. This involves examining the personality of each child and tailoring the care given to them based on their needs.

Through a general observation of our surroundings, it is easy to note that extroverted and assertive individuals are very good at forming connections with others. Their openness makes it easier for them to share and connect with the people around them and thus form ties with them easily.

Binamira, 2017

A study by Van Ryzin et al. (2015) conducted some research with adopted children and found that even when adopted children had parents who were lacking in social competence, the children themselves turned out to be socially competent if their biological parents had also been socially competent. This could be a result of the children’s genetic makeup, indicating that these children possessed genes that allowed them to grow up to be socially capable. Of course, this may have been the result of some other factors in the children’s environment as well: their school setting, their interaction with peers and teachers, and other family members. All of these factors help build resilience in the child by offering them support and a shoulder to lean on when things are rough, and parenting is unresponsive.

The socio-economic status (SES) of a child’s family also significantly affects the friendliness of the child. SES refers to the social status that a child has. A study by Bohlin and Hagekull (2009) found that children from high SES families were more agreeable and friendly than children from low SES families, they were also less neurotic than their low SES counterparts, suggesting that a child’s SES is a good determinant of how sociable they’ll be as they grow older.

This is not to say that once a child is born in a particular type of environment, their fate is sealed. There are several factors that foster resilience in children. Berk (2021) talks about some ways that children become resilient and grow up well in spite of the difficulties in their lives. She says that the child’s inherent personality affects how they’ll respond to their environment: sociable, and intelligent children will easily form ties with peers and seniors and branch out. Good familial support, Berk (2021) says, is another factor. Having close bonds with at least one guardian, and their siblings, and maintaining adequate discipline at home helps the child too; another helpful factor is the type of school environment they encounter: relationships with teachers and the type of material that is studied in school are very helpful in the enlightenment and development of the child’s brain and their views about the world, this includes knowledge about how to form good relationships with others and how to become a better person; and finally if the child belongs to an uplifting and supportive community, their chances of becoming resilient improve significantly: communities help the children develop as a person by offering them opportunities for extracurricular activities and giving them a sense of belonging by integrating them into different types of social clubs, which offer further opportunities for forming friendships with others.

Production, 2021

A person’s SES also determines where they end up living: the kind of neighborhood they reside in, in a city. I studied the vulnerability of children in Oakridge for social incompetence. Oakridge is a neighborhood in Vancouver, BC where I live, and I thought it would be interesting to see how well the children in Oakridge are faring in social competence in comparison to the rest of British Columbia. I used the Early Development Instrument for my research, provided by the University of British Columbia and I observed that the overall social competence in Oakridge has significantly decreased, from a less than 10% vulnerability in the years 2004-07 to over 20% in the years 2016-19. The overall social competence is comprised of various sub-factors, such as the children’s approaches towards learning, their willingness to explore new things in life, and their respect and responsibility towards themselves and others. The vulnerability for all three components has increased in Oakridge. This trend is concerning and requires immediate attention. The general trend for the province of BC hasn’t observed any significant change in children’s vulnerability for social incompetence from 2004-2019, which suggests that the province hasn’t done much to help children develop their social skills since 2004. While Oakridge’s numbers are disturbing, all hope is not lost for children in the neighborhood.

In another neighborhood in Vancouver: Cambie – Riley Park, the vulnerability for social incompetence in children has dropped over the timespan under consideration, from slightly below 20% in 2004 to only a little above 10% in 2019, which is lesser than the overall provincial average of approximately 20% in 2019 (EDI, 2019). The trends suggest that Cambie is offering something that Oakridge lacks and if more resources are provided for young children in Oakridge, the social competence in children here can be improved.

We can’t relax just yet though! The EDI tool developed by UBC also mentions the detrimental effects of leaving these problems unresolved in children. Socially incompetent children don’t engage with other children. This comes in many forms: not playing with others, being difficult and uncooperative, or lacking self-confidence (being too shy and nervous to approach others). If these children are not helped at an early stage, these problems blossom into even bigger issues after the child grows up. An uncooperative child develops into an adult has no friends or meaningful connections (these things are necessary when tragedy strikes later on in life and the individual has no one to fall back on). Difficult individuals also often stray away from their families, making life harder for them. Anxious children, on the other hand, have different problems. They may be perfectly good people, but they grow up into adults that severely lack self-confidence and self-esteem, making it harder for them to approach life and give it their best. What’s really concerning is that these children lack self-confidence and friendships, two things that they really want and need, but because of their anxiety, low self-esteem, and inability to connect with others, they push their peers away, further isolating themselves.

Fortunately, there is something we can do to help these children. Berk (2021) discusses a strategy called “Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies (PATHS)” in her book. This intervention is effective when introduced in preschool. In this procedure, the teachers use stories, puppets, conversations, and role-play to teach students how to decipher others’ emotions, determine the course of further actions, develop techniques for problem-solving, and anticipate possible consequences. This intervention has been tested and it was observed that children who went through this training were better at detecting their own, and others’ emotions, figuring out how they would in the future feel by being observant of their situation, coming up with strategies to resolve social conflict, and cooperating and connecting with other children (Bierman et al., 2008; Bilir Seyhan et al., 2019; Domitrovich, Cortes, & Greenberg, 2007).

Social competence in children is not thought of as an important factor when children’s well-being is discussed but it is an essential topic that should be discussed and worked on with children so that our younger generations can lead mentally healthy and happy lives.

References

Berk, L. (2021). Infants and Children: Prenatal Through Middle Childhood. Revel (Ninth). Pearson Education.

Bierman, K. L., Domitrovich, C. E., Nix, R. L., Gest, S. D., Welsh, J. A., Greenberg, M. T., et al. (2008). Promoting academic and social-emotional school readiness: The Head Start REDI program. Child Development, 79, 1802–1817.

Bilir Seyhan, G., Ocak Karabay, S., Arda Tuncdemir, T. B., Greenberg, M. T., & Domitrovich, C. (2019). The effects of Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies preschool program on teacher–children relationships and children’s social competence in Turkey. International Journal of Psychology, 54, 61–69.

Binamira, A. (2017). Four Toddler Forms Circle Photo. [Online image]. Pexels. https://www.pexels.com

Bohlin, G., & Hagekull, B. (2009). Socio-emotional development: from infancy to young adulthood. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 50(6), 592–601. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9450.2009.00787.

Domitrovich, C. E., Cortes, R. C., & Greenberg, M. T. (2007). Improving young children’s social and emotional competence: A randomized trial of the preschool “PATHS” curriculum. Journal of Primary Prevention, 28, 67–91.

Human Early Learning Partnership. Early Development Instrument [EDI] report. Wave 7 Community Profile, 2019. Vancouver School District (SD39). Vancouver, BC: University of British Columbia, Faculty of Medicine, School of Population and Public Health; February 2020. Available from: http://earlylearning.ubc.ca/media/edi_w7_ communityprofiles/edi_w7_communityprofile_sd_39.pdf

Mark J. Van Ryzin, Jenae M. Neiderhiser, Misaki N. Natsuaki, Leslie D. Leve, Daniel S. Shaw, & David Reiss. (2015). Genetic Influences Can Protect Against Unresponsive Parenting in the Prediction of Child Social Competence. Child Development, 86(3), 667–680.

Production, K. (2021). A Young Girl Tie her Shoes. [Online image]. Pexels. https://www.pexels.com

Shermer, M. (2006). Why people believe weird things. TED. Retrieved December 7, 2021, from https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_shermer_why_people_believe_weird_things?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare.

The Hindu. (2012, March 12). Man as a social animal. The Hindu. Retrieved December 7, 2021, from https://www.thehindu.com/features/education/research/man-as-a-social-animal/article2988145.ece.