Challenges and Revisitations:
Continuing this inquiry, I ask myself:
What does it mean for me to live in this world right now?Why did I choose rocks? What did it represent? Does the weight of the rocks and its inability to move on its own represent anything? What about the size- pebbles, boulders, stones? What will change if I choose to interact with a different rock?
One of my challenges in deciding if I should continue with rocks is resisting the idea of having to make something. What can I possibly end up with with rocks? Discussing with my collaboratory group, we all agree that we want to pay more attention to the process, the in-betweens, the dialogues being generated. Seeing the value of back and forth dialogue and discussions in making sense of what is happening, we feel the need at some point, to dismiss and completely let go of being stuck with the end result. Although at the same time, we concluded (with laughter) with the realization that something will eventually be made or created in the end.
There were many moments of collapse that happened, with each repeated try getting more frustrating than the previous. Slowing down in my process of balancing, I am able to reflect this on life prior to Covid-19. This highlighted for me the fragility of our so-called life. We spend so much time trying to figure everything out in a small amount of time- trying to balance work, school, family- only to realise in the end how easily this life can fall apart… within mere seconds.
In order for the rocks to balance, I needed to smoothen out the paper a little bit more. I scrunched it tighter, enveloping the rock fully. At times, I had to remove the paper and put it back a different way in order for the rock to become more stable on top. There was this undressing and dressing, this turning and tilting.
Continuing this process, I become more attuned to the movements of my own body- first through the way my fingers shaped, sculpted, then to the way I would position myself on the floor. This process of repetition invited me to focus on the way my body was moving with the material, as I work with it. Thinking that every rock would be the same, as I continue to repeat the same action over and over, my own bodies’ tempo and rhythms change. The way I approached the first rock is different from the way I would approach the 50th rock. Each rock experiences my touch differently, therefore also responds differently.
There was now a connection- a reciprocity in understanding the other that goes beyond mere touch.
References:
Marshall, J. & D’Adamo, K. (2011). Art practice as research in the classroom: A new paradigm in art education. Art Education, 164(5), 2-18
