You know what? I am stumped. I am lost for words. I have no idea how to summarize Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood in less than a James Joyce-esque verbal diarrhea. It is a frankly bizarre experience, like I was introducing a girl to my parents and halfway through dinner she slapped me across the face and called me scum. I’m into that, honey, but there’s a time and a place. Tarantino’s new movie is a hugely self indulgent and tonally inconsistent effort, but on the other hand it’s a mostly excellent hugely self indulgent and tonally inconsistent effort, so I guess my hands are tied. I have to say that Once Upon a Time… In Quentin’s Bizarre Mind is a very good movie (with some reservations).

I suppose I had better list the problems with A Long Time Ago In A Hollywood Far, Far Away first, then praise it’s qualities later once I have destroyed its self confidence. First of all, as I alluded to in that car crash of an opening paragraph, the tone is all over the place, even more so than in any other Tarantino fare. At some points it is Raging Bull, at others it’s The Pink Panther (Although at least it’s the Blake Edwards version). One moment we are delving deeply into Leonardo DiCaprio’s inner demons, then we watch Brad Pitt fighting Bruce Lee for very little reason. All of those moments are fun and interesting in a vacuum, but when put together occasionally they don’t fit quite as well as the segments in Pulp Fiction or Inglorious Basterds did.

All of Tarantino’s excesses are present and having a big party. Mr. Foot Fetish seems to have had a little too much to drink and is dancing on the table, Mr Dialogue keeps repeating the same joke to everyone he meets and Miss Violence has beaten this metaphore into a pulp so I’ll stop now. Also, Quentin has always treated sensitive subjects like the lions treated the christians in the Colosseum, so the movie does seem to be at odds with the current social climate at some points. The last gripe I had with the movie is that the violence is just absurd. I have no problem with movie violence, and Tarantino has always been very good at making it cathartic and fun without ruining the tension, but it fit the pulpy aesthetic and storytelling of films like Inglorious Basterds and Kill Bill a lot better than it does in this one.

The thing is, even though Quentin’s vices are in full swing, This Is A Story All About How Hollywood Got Flipped Turned Upside Down also showcases all of his strengths to a great degree. The dialogue is repetitive, sure, but it’s still excellent and witty. The directing is very clever, mashing genres together and resignifying them by recontextualizing them. One particular sequence mixes Spaghetti Western and Psychological Atmospheric Horror all through cinematography, editing and blocking, and it starts so subtly that it’s difficult to pinpoint when the scene turns left into Creepy Cowboy lane. Another scene has Nouvelle Vague aesthetic and meta-narrative, not uncommon in QT’s repertoire, but used to great effect.

Also, Tarantino has always been great at creating memorable and interesting characters, but they never had this much Pathos. Sure, they are still amoral self serving douchebags, but they also have more internal struggles, and these conflicts are portrayed in a number of creative and interesting ways. DiCaprio’s character is a has-been movie and TV star desperately grabbing on to the last remnants of his glory days as he watches other people come and take his former place in the film industry’s pecking order, and this is shown through dialogue and excellent acting, but also through filmmaking craft in the way the movie aesthetic and logic starts to bleed into his everyday life. Margot Robbie gets her moment to shine in a sequence where Sharon Tate goes to a movie theatre to watch herself, and it might be the best, most human scene in the film.

In conclusion, Quentin Tarantino’s Gritty La La Land Reboot is an excellent, if flawed, masterpiece. Some of the issues will be dealbreakers for some people, and they are all valid complaints, but it also flirts with true greatness and at some points achieves it. It is not Tarantino’s best movie, but it’s a huge step up from Hateful Eight and it could only exist in an auteur environment. If only for its uniqueness, Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood is more worth your time than any commitee written blockbuster or Oscar bait you care to name.