Research Project

Kelsea Vance

Cassidy Picken

English 100

04 December 2019

A Product of Narcissism: A Triptych

An important differentiation to make between high self esteem and narcissism is that “High self-esteem means thinking well of oneself, whereas narcissism involves passionately wanting to think well of oneself”(Bushman 220). A crucial differentiation between a mental illness and an inflated ego. This triptych expresses the emotional journey of a child of a narcissistic parent. Reading many accounts of people with similar experiences a common emotional thread ties us together. Two emotional stepping stones surround the centre figure and while they lie in the back of her head, clarity and perseverance has been achieved to some degree.

Despair (1)

Despair illustrates the devastated self image narcissistic parenting breeds. Drowning in thoughts of self harm and desperation, despair leads to either action or something much darker. Psychology today lists detrimental phrases that are commonly said to many children without any regard for the impact these words carry. Manipulative phrases such as: “You’re the reason I’m miserable” or “I’ve done everything for you and you’re so ungrateful”. I chose to etch these specific phrases into the piece as they’ve stuck in my mind the minute they were said to me. In these families, parents shame the child, saying words such as: “I let you live in my house”. Other manipulative behaviour commonly found is guilt tripping or shaming, ex. food, clothing, or a home are not rights but rather luxuries in these relationships.

Placing the figure lower in the piece makes them smaller than the darkness around them and compositionally speaks to the loneliness felt. This also resonates with The fact that, “a narcissistic mother or father might make a concerted effort to put the child down, so the parent remains superior”(Ni, Section 2). Being the only piece with the eyes shut, it represents a damaged self image children of these families produce.

Rage (3)

Representing the common emotion that accompanies despair, rage is meant to communicate the blame and anger directed towards narcissistic parents after realization of the mistreatment. While not an entirely healthy state of mind, rage inspires action and demands change.

The figure is slightly higher in the composition now, taking centre stage in their life. A hand grabs the figure’s neck trying to stifle a growing self image and tying them down. The hand is intentionally lighter than the rest of the piece to signify its importance in relation to adolescence. Brushed off and belittled as a rebellious phase, Rage intends harm and believes in an eye for an eye.

An emotional piece illustrating my early teenage years and an incident between my father and I.

In Origins of Narcissism in Children, under significance, Eddie Brummelman states that narcissists “feel humiliated, they often lash out aggressively or even violently”(3659). Older generations brush off young people reaching out as being too sensitive and this continues the cycle of abuse.

Now What (2)

The centerpiece of the triptych illustrating where I stand emotionally today. Now What abandons the anger of Rage and the helplessness of Despair in an attempt to move forward. Recognizing she is a product of her environment Now What is at a crossroads. Where the stages of grief have a conclusive end, the healing process in situations like these are not so easily guided as many narcissists cannot see their shortcomings. Therapy often doesn’t work regarding narcissism as one has to want to change to see any progress. I chose not to include a question mark as I want it to feel like a command rather than a question. I want to resolve my trauma. I want to move forward. I’m desperate for a way through but through my research I understand that it may never be resolved and I have accepted the possibility.

Works Cited

Bushman, B. J., & Baumeister, R. F. (1998). Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: Does self-love or self-hate lead to violence? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Brummelman, Eddie, et al. (2015). Origins of Narcissism in Children. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/112/12/3659.full.pdf

Ni, Preston. (2016). 10 Signs of a Narcissistic Parent. Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/communication -success /201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent.

December 6, 2019 Add Comment Sticky

Landing Page: UX Storyboard

To start, Megan, Raha, Natasha, Kat, and myself concepted a few storylines and added some poorly drawn emojis to illustrate the character in the story.
We landed on the yellow story line due to its visual simplicity.

This is my storyboard and visual partner to the storyline we created. I kept it very minimal to not overwhelm the reader. I slightly shifted the last panel to something very clear and simple.

October 5, 2020 Add Comment

Lisa Yuksavage

A prolific American artist born in Philadelphia in 1962. Working in oil and pastel as of recently. Going through multiple schools, she claims her real education didn’t begin till she started painting for herself.

Small Department of Painting Drawing and Scuplture, 2019

Influenced by Renoir, Giorgione, Giovanni Bellini, and The Venetian School influenced for their use of light, colour, and atmosphere.

A couple quotes that resonated with me were: “Art is a bit of a séance.”
and Describing the way she puts her talent to ‘poor use’:
“Like a nun with a foul mouth”

Much of her early work is inspired by soft core porn such as penthouse magazine back in the 1970s. Remarking one of her intentions was to combine Rembrandt and penthouse in Screwing her pussy on straight.

December 6, 2019 Add Comment

David Hockney

An iconic British Pop Artist born in 1937, still working today. What separates him from other pop artist of his time is his obsession with cubism.

Painting imagery from life, Hockney’s depicts domestic scenes from his personal life (such as the dog days series).

His use of colour has been called effeminate, but as a gay rights advocate, his colours advocate sexual freedom.

I’m a huge fan of his work, I adore his use of colour and subject matter. His composition is stunning, but above all, his dog days series is my favourite.

Portrait of an Artist (Pool with Two Figures), 1972

December 6, 2019 Add Comment

Morris Louis

An American artist born in the early 20th century only to die at the age of fifty. A leading figure in the Colour Field painting movement and even though his life was short, he was extremely prolific and painting upon gigantic canvases.

Thinning his acrylics to stain the canvas and folding and bending it to manipulate the paint, Louis was a revolutionary in his time.

Rejecting the abstract action painting style of Polluck or Kline, Louis wanted to focus on the quality of colour.

Dalet Kaf is an example of his later Veil paintings where in he would staple his canvases to the wall (due to his small studio) allowing the paint to cascade down.

While I do prefer his more colourful work, I appreciate the darker and gloomier ones as well.

December 6, 2019 Add Comment

Maurice Denis

Maurice Denis was a French writer, decorative artist, and painter. Defining many significant stylistic advances with the “Les Nabis”, a group he founded alongside Paul Sérusier, Pierre Bonnard, etc.